Hello 40!

Five days into my 40’s and I am loving it!

Celebrating my 40th birthday with my love, John, was absolutely wonderful and hilarious. He and I have the best times together! He’s an amazing man. 

Saturday, I had a chance to continue the celebration with two of my sisters, oldest daughter, and my oldest niece. Great food, sunshine, springtime weather, and shopping combined with lots of laughter made for a wonderful day. 

What is about birthdays that makes you think about all the things you want to do? Is it the thought that you are “running out of time” so to speak? Or is it a process of maturing? Whatever it is, I am definitely experiencing it!

So to announce my new adventures…

• Yesterday I placed my order for my 23 and Me dna kit!!! I am ecstatic about finding out “who” I am. Being adopted, I often deal with a feeling of lost identity regardless of the fact it was a family adoption. I don’t know the other half of me, so I am taking advantage of my options.
• Golf! Yes, I said golf. John loves golfing, and I thought “wow, what better way to enjoy our time together than being outside enjoying nature, and having some laughs?”. We can laugh at ourselves better than anyone can, and we are not competitive against one another. We enjoy each other’s company, and he has so much patience with me that I am sure he will help me learn the game. 

I, of course, realize that my birthday was no different than the day before. The only change was my age. I have to make the changes that I want to see happen. There’s no fairy godmother waving her magic wand changing my life for the better. That’s my job! 

I still have things from my past to get over, but I am very proud to say that the depression I usually feel on, and around, my birthday was not present this year. I have truly managed to release some of the hostility I held against my unknown, biological father. He is no longer controlling my thoughts with his constant “presence” since I chose to release him. 

There are many things left for me to conquer..smoking, hostility towards Disney World, insecurities a plenty which involves abandonment  (another lovely side effect of being an adoptee), and the list goes on. However, I do keep in mind that with John by my side I can overcome any obstacles in my path. He has no idea how he strengthens me.